She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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