my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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