Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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