it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
