some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
