I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
