Don't you send me to vm
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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