Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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