how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
