The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
please come you make the beer taste better
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize