that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ketchup is God's man juice
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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