there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
