WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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