yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
