How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I lost the right to judge tonight
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
