She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize