covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
