Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize