I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
