Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
