very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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