remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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