arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize