Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
