Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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