I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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