we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
