She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
