walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
