i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
