Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize