i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
