Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
