Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
