i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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