I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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