we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
