are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
