I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
