I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
