As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
