Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
