Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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