Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize