My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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