Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
