Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
