oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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