Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
