When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There's always time for handjobs
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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