I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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