Having a random hookup so left but love u
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
