I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
