Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
