thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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