I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize