Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
