How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
