its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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