I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
