Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
