Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
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