She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
