so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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