Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
