You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
