your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize