I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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