just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
