next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
