the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
