Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize